Alright. What's you fondest memory from gaming? Something silly or something cool.

For me it was a half-elf duelist from 3rd edition in Eberron. If anyone's ever run the adventure "Vampire's Blade" (I think that's the name), they realized there's a redheaded sorceress as a villain. Every fight until the final one, my rogue managed to sneak a kiss in. Unfortunately, I left for college before the final fight and the rest of the party slaughtered her mercilessly, but it was fun nonetheless.

Camby, I request the story of your 3 intelligence fighter and the mysterious pit of ooze.

--DF2K

Hrm... I've got tons of insanity/stupidity to draw upon:

My very first character (AD&D) I had the choice between a sword or a horse. I took the sword, and used it to steal a horse as pretty much my first action (my actual first was to burn down a forest and destroy half a nearby village [it was an accident - honest!]).

-

Elf walks into Dwarvern mining town's bar, drunken patron accuses elf of being there to steal all their beer.
"But I don't want your beer!" he protests.
Bar goes silent.
"So the high and mighty elf is too good for our beer, eh? Get him!"

-

Same elf approaches a guardhouse with another party member:
"Don't say anything suspicious."
[both players look at me, the GM, remembering how I chose to take 'in party conversation' (ie metagaming like that doesn't fly)]
"I just said that didn't I?"
"I think you two need to come with me..."

-

Blowing up a nuclear submarine with a crossbow from three kilometers away.

-

Accidently selling a whole planet to slavers (we last saw it literally being towed off...)

-

"You know what this is?"
"Bah, I should have know despicable pirates such as you would stoop to using a lifejammer to power your ship!"
"No, our ship runs on buttered kittens, I use this to power my hot-tub."

-

Fighting a Roc. In space. With a chainsaw.

-

Three hundred angels in jars in our cargo hold, next to the five hydrogen bombs and the gold bathtub filled with diamonds.

-

Waging war and destroying an entire country because a customs officer was snooty to us.

-

"I duck the howitzer shell."

-

Noticing that in the spell description of enlarge/shrink object that while it doesn't crush someone a shrunk object will become form fitting if shrunk enough. Very uncomfortable for the mooks in full face helms.

-

Getting hit by a sheet of flames from Burning Hands. Luckily my chainmail stopped the fire... we ditched hard rules and went to freeform after two adventures. I then ran a campaign through highschool that ended up going close to 10 years (it was, in hindsight, rather terrible but good fun).

-

The elf from earlier carrying their own half digested remains back to town stuffed into their backpack due to a body switching incident and a badly interpreted prophetic dream involving a monster eating the dreamer.

-

Using a halfling as a shield.

-

Said halfling later returns from the dead! His former player has an adventure planned...
Halfling appears at the Elf's castle walls, asking for his sword.
"Ummm, no."
"I only want my sword."
"No."
"Come on, what harm can it do?"
"When we last saw you you were a charred corpse in a dungeon we then blew up. Doing anything you ask is a bad idea."
[GM] Just give him the sword or there's no adventure.
[player] Fine...
"Here's your sword, now go away."
"Mwahahah! I tricked you! You are so foolish and dumb etc"
[player] This is stupid...

-

The god of meat defeated by throwing fruit at him.

-

Playing a mime (in a WoDesque setting), who when she mimed actions they were 'real' - so for instance I could mime out pulling the pin on a grenade and throwing it, and there would be an explosion shortly after. The catch was that I couldn't speak in game, and any violence was 'slapstick', so the grenade would simply produce a lot of smoke and flames, and throw people into the air but they would only be slightly bruised and singed.
Very fun to play as she had some real limitations but was very different from my normally smartarse, loudmouth characters (Frigg from Guilded Age (<link) is basically every character I've ever played). I would often chose to mime out some of the actions and suchlike.

It seems to be a trend of mine - in the high magic setting I play a theif/fighter with no special powers. In the low magic world I played a shaman. In the magic-tech spelljammer insanityfest I played a full-borg, and was one of the least powerful characters. In the campaign where it ended with people having the power to obliterate cities with a thought I played a character with no magic or combat skills at all - for the longest time my highest skills were cooking, needlecraft and singing.



This is a long list so I'll leave it there for now...

There's this little game called Paranoia. I've only played it once:

My character had a fake gun barrel that she was not supposed to have. If she was found out, she could be executed on the spot. So...she managed to quietly slip that fake gun barrel into someone's pants pocket. Later, that someone got into an argument with other characters, he pulled out that fake barrel from his pocket and attempted to shoot the other characters. The gun did not fire, and the others promptly executed him for illegal possession of the barrel.

I've had some fun ones on the odd occasion my RPG group actually behaves. At one point the cleric and rogue were trying to infiltrate the thieves guild so we could find out how much force we'd need to take out the leader. They wore hooded robes to get to and from the meetings (we all knew this was going on). One fateful night the cleric headed back an hour earlier than we expected them, leaving the rogue in talks with someone. I should point out that we were meeting about half an hours walk from the city.

Ranger (Mike): Hey, there's a hooded guy!
Fighter (Me): Not two? It may not be one of us guys. I make a spo-
Mike: I aim for the head before he sees our hiding place and let fly!
DM laughs, and the cleric player (Pete) makes a horrified face.
*Mike rolls a 20*
Mike: Yes! My first natural 20 with my new enchanted bow!
DM: Roll for damage on the cleric
(at this point I'm kicking myself for not taking a paladin just to get a 2nd healer in the party)
Mike: Uh oh. *rolls enough to take the cleric down to -2 health* Damn, sorry guys
Me: You'll have to speak up. I can't hear your apology due to the sound of you KILLING OUR HEALER!

Other such random ones:

"No reply eh? I'll teach you to play coy with me. I saddle up and charge at the windmill!"

"How far away are you!" *cue entire dwarf bar falling silent, and the sound of every patron drawing their axe*
DM: "This'll teach you to butt in with a joke when I'm describing the surroundings."

My first ever pnp RPG was Cyberpunk. I decided to roll up my first character, a teen rogue with zero luck (This was deliberate on my part -- I was cautioned against it, but thought it would be interesting). The GM promptly used me as a deus ex machina. For example:

The first thing that happened was our party barreling along the highway in our humongous private truck. The NPC party leader, who was named Master Chief, was teaching me to handle the .50 cal HMG on the roof of the vehicle. As I reached for the trigger, the vehicle hit a bump in the road, I stumbled and fell over the gun so that it pointed straight up and fired a single shot.

Eeeeeeeeeeew-BOOM!

Yep, I shot down a Learjet. With one bullet, accidentally. When we searched it, we found the MacGuffin we needed to continue the adventure.

Later on, we were escaping from a police station for something I can't remember, but fairly minor. I fired a random burst from the same machine gun back towards the police cars -- since it was dark -- and hit their ammo dump. The fireworks were spectacular. This made the lot of us outlaws.

Finally, I accidentally dropped a test tube in a confined space with two male NPCs present. It turned out to contain a gaseous love potion with instantaneous effect. The NPCs and I spent the next 24 hours doing, well, you know. One of the other party members videotaped this and posted it to the 'Net, and as a result everyone we met knew who I was for the rest of the campaign... On the upside, he charged people to download it and the party made loads of money.

Love Cyberpunk. I had a game of similar crazy-stuff (minus the prOn).

It involved a chain-smoking getaway driver, a man with "F-ing wolvers!" (Wolverine-style cybernetic claws), a gas tank leaking from 6 oddly-wolverine-style-shaped holes, and a carelessly tossed cigar. Good times.

EDIT: Girl PCs in game always cause "odd" stuff to happen. Us guy-gamers must be extra lonely.

--DF2K

Heh, I've got two, off the top of my head.

========

AD&D 2.5e memory:

Rogue, Bard, and Mage convince my character to provide a distraction so they can sneak into the barracks of the (corrupt) town guard.

Me, playing the barbarian with Int 6 and the compulsive honesty drawback: "Okay! Uh, how?"

Bard: "I dunno, go talk to one of the guards and keep him from seeing us sneak in."

Me (cheerfully): "Okay!"

Town guardsman: "Hello. What are you doing here at the barracks in the middle of the night?"

Me: " "Hello, guardsman! We here to kill captain of guard."

Town guardsman: "Uh....what?"

Me (shouting so he can be helpful): "WE.. HERE.. TO.. KILL.. CAPTAIN......."

Rest of party: /facepalm

========

White Wolf WOD memory:

Me, playing Highlander-style immortal slash Wild West gunslinger (now modern private eye), have just tracked won quartet of werewolves that killed a young girl.

Me: "Hey, are you the Black Lotus gang?"

GM: "Yeah, and you're on our turf, you..."

Me, interrupting: "Did you kill that little girl?"

GM: "Yeah, and we're going to kill you, too, you..."

Me, interrupting again: "I use Celerity [ed: think of it as an interrupt action on Initiative in this case] and quick-draw and fan one pistol. Three silver bullets for the two closest werewolves each."

GM: "Wait, what?"

Me: "Do they react?"

GM: "Uh, yeah, the two you shot are very dead. You don't need silver bullets to kill them in human form, you know."

Me: "I know. The silver bullets are just in case they're shifting. So I quick-draw and fan the other pistol."

GM: "Don't you want to talk to them or anything?"

Me: "Why? So we can have a fair fight? I'm immortal, not stupid."

Rest of party: /ROTFL

Al-Qadim: My Half Elf rogue was born into a brothel and made the wise decision to flee before she was old enough to be sold. She took her best friend with her, the Ogre eunuch that was 'muscle' for the brothel. *cue forward* Alia and Shaq are in some city, broke and her 'owners' are surely on their trail. We need money, and need it now. Here's the plan. Alia lures an unsuspecting 'John" down an alley, and Shaq shakes them down. So the John doesn't just run off and get the cops, *sap* to the back of the head. Alia looks at Shaq and explains, slowly, that she will leave the alley and turn left. Shaq is to count to twenty and then leave the alley to the right; they will meet back in the inn where they have a room. So, plan established and in place Alia walk towards the end of the alley, but next thing she knows there's a thunderous trampling as Shaq comes barreling up to her and in his Mike Tyson voice shouts: "We gotts ta go! Cops is comin!" he then runs full bore out of the alley and shouting in, "Hurry--They're onto us!"

Later the same duo is down near the caravan gate and it's about 3am. Alia carefully unties a camel from it's post and begins to walk out... Shaq is standing with the two guards, sharing a bottle of wine, singing in his high pitched Mike Tyson: "What can you do with a drunken sailor..." After a moment, he leaves the guards and meets Alia outside the gate.
Shaq: Why only one camel?
Alia: Because you are too big to ride one.
Shaq: Does your new camel have a name?
Alia: No. Should it?
Shaq: Of course, all ships have names and camels are Ships of the Sands!
Alia: Do you want to name it, then?
Shaq: Yes. The SS Ooh-Ha-Uhl.

Of course Ooh-Ha-Uhl is spelled Uhaul...

It occured to me, the player, that ogres surely have atrocious breath, so... Alia buys a *large* bag of mint candies and tells Shaq that "All great men eat Mints!" Shaq grins at his best friend; if she is giving him mints and all great men eat mints, then he must be great! Later, the duo has raided an ancient crypt and recovered very little treasure and an obviously powerful magic sword. They make their way to a different city and find a sage. The Sage is also a wizard. During negotiations it becomes painfully obvious to Alia that she does not have the money needed to get the sword identified. She is haggling hard with the Sage...
Sage: I am sorry, the lowest price I can give you is 180 sovereigns.
Alia: Would that we had such fantastic wealth, Sir, but we are but meager travelers, surely you can be more kind than that?
Sage: No, casting the spell has it's own costs and perils...
Alia chews her lip thinking, and Shaq's eyes light up. Sage's are great men, yes? Shaq looks at Alia she smiles at him trying to keep him from feeling the mood. He winks at her and reaches into his bag...
Shaqs paw comes out with who knows how many mints that he then dumps unceremoniously on the table, grinning the whole time, flicking the candies that were stuck to his hand off into the pile.
Alia's face displays her surprise. Shaq misunderstands her look af apprehension and smiles broadly, reaching back into his bag to get another handful...
The wizard looks first at Alia, then at Shaq, not sure if it would be wise to tell the Ogre "No" he agrees to cast the spell for 50 sovereigns.

Later still, the party had captured a bad guy and were getting ready to interrogate him. He was scared to spouting nonsense by Shaq, looming over him so Alia told Shaq to go outside and "Practice walking on your hands." When the interrogation was done, Alia steps outside and sees Shaq walking circles in the fort's yard, hands tightly gripping his shoes... "Oww Oww Oww" as he "practiced walking on his hands..."

Shaq and Alia traveled together for a long long time. My buddy always used his Mike Tyson voice, saying things like, "I am definitely gunna turn his kids into orphans" in a high pitched whine... made more inappropriate because it came from a 10' tall ogre! A lot more happened in that campaign and I remember it fondly.

GNOME

AD&D 3.5 Ed.- My created Clown Character blew up a Tarasque all by himself. Over 600 damage over 12 turns. All 12's every roll.

AD&D (Original)- Paladin (me)- Charges into room, and clears it
Magicain- Umm.... look out
Me- What?
Spider bite and death.

Let me preface this with a general description of the general character I played in almost every setting: Black haired, green eyed girl/woman, with a name using my fiancee's/wife's name. Hey if you're gonna roleplay...right?

Anyway:

GURPS-Aftermath. (Probably had the most fun ever in that system) Setting was a future after nuclear war with the Nazi's IIRC. The characters in the party all had some minor bonuses, one guy had superdexterity, another was a computer genius (IIRC), and my character had telekinesis. Anyhoo, we found some vials of fluid, several red and several blue. Well since I was the party medic, I jabbed one into the computer whiz. Turns out that it was berzerker serum...so I nailed him with the blue one almost immediately once I figured it out (about 5 game seconds). Well then he started to draw his gun on me and in my quick thinking, I used my telekinesis and picked him up and flew him back and forth for about 30 minutes until the berserker serum ran out.

Same group and adventure...dexterous guy found a sawed off shotgun and had never used one before. Goes to the firing range to shoot it and holds it out extended with one hand. Fumbles the roll to hit, and breaks his trigger finger on his hand, which I had to set and fix.

That setting was the most fun simply for the fact that it had scavenger tables and if you scavenged for stuff, you rolled not only for item category and type, but also condition. In the course of several different adventures we found a working UH-60 Blackhawk with an android and a gatling gun, a mint condition tommy gun, M1 abrams tank, lots of fun stuff like that.

AD&D: Not sure what version...but we were in the Underdark. I was a ranger (always was my favorite class) and our main fighter was granted a wish-the most powerful sword made- and received the sword from Elric of Melnibone lore. Then he proceeded to get wrapped up in a cloaker and perish, thanks to the sword and the cloaker. In that same adventure, our thief began praying on a regular basis and his prayers were answered. Not sure which deity it was, but he was granted a spell or two. That GM's favorite saying was "greed kills" and you usually wound up dead if you got greedy...

Man I miss pnp rolplaying games....

AD&D: Playing with the Godcheck houserule. Role a d100, get a 01-03 (depending on how generous the DM was) and you were saved by divine intervention.

My halfling thief was doing very poorly in a fight against a horde of skeletons. Made a godcheck calling to whatever god would help him out. 01. God of righteous retribution answers the call, destroys the skeletons, but my character suddenly becomes a cleric to this god. He only had an 8 wisdom so the DM had to hand him one of those books to up the stat so he could cast spells.

--DF2K

I remember a Star Wars incident a long while ago (before the campaign I mentioned I was trying to start on here).

At one point I was a jedi, and I piled almost everything into whatever force power I needed for persuasion (it was a new character, and the GM made the mistake of outlining our mission while I was finishing off my character sheet). Our mission was to infiltrate a facility guarded by storm troopers and steal some plans for some kind of super weapon.

Me: So where is the nearest brothel? (that's a very common question from one of our players, NOT me)
GM (wondering where this will go): Heh, about 10 minutes walk away
Me: Ok, we walk there, and I hire four women for three hours.
GM: Uhm... ok, 3 hours later
Me: No, I want to do stuff during those three hours (one of the players starts sniggering)
GM:... Ok
Me: I make a persuasion check using my powers to allow us to take the girls with our 4 payer party
GM:... Ok
Me: We walk back to the facility, and I tell the guard, using a force power if necessary, that we have the 4 girls for the commanding officers room.
GM: What? Ok, you need to beat his willpower (some low number I don't remember)
*passes check*
Me: Now that he believes that, I tell him that the four of us are handlers, to make sure that no-one mistreats the girls, and we are to wait outside the quarters until we take the girls back. I then tell him he needs to show us where the quarters are.
*rolls and beats the same number*
GM: I wish I hadn't told you his will score now...
*We get to the quarters, dismiss the guard, one of us makes sur eno-one is actually in there and then nips in and steals the plans*
Me: We head back to the gate. When we get there I tell the guard that his commander cannot get service on reputation alone, and that we will NOT be called out again unless he starts attempting to pay.
GM: Uhm, a jedi wouldn't do that?
Me: What, find a non-violent solution that allows us to get what we need without any loss of life?
GM: Damn
Me: yeah, now you know how I feel when you guys try to break my campaigns.

Needless to say after that we went back to using myself of Peter as GMs simply because we were able to stop this crazy stuff from happening.

Dark Heresy:


The party- Imperial Guardsman from a Forge World (a skitari wanna be). Tech Priest, Adept and an Assassin.


the goal was to infiltrate a water storage facility on an Agro world which was a hub for Xenos artifacts. The group discovers that the planetary Arbities are pretty much working for the criminal syndicate that's running the black market here on the Agro world. The Adept after hours of research discovered that thousands of liters of promethum were being delievered to the storage facility every month. 100 times more than the facility could ever use.


The sneaking part of course went to hell in a hand basket, the Tech priest and Skitari wanna be ignoring the fact that the Assassin found a mine field around the place, just charge right in when things start going bad. The tech priest gets tossed into the air by an anti-personnel mine, but suffers minor damage due to the carapace armor and having a 5 toughness. The Skitari avoids the mines and starts laying into the guards with his grenade launcher. They take out the guards pretty quickly (and know they are onto something. too many guards for just a water storage facility.), but not before reinforcements are called in.


Soon there is a Valkrie buzzing the place the Heavy Bolter door gunners raking everything in sight while the party hunkers down in some sandbag bunkers around the place.


the Skitari is sick of this and strides out into the middle of the parking area and lets fly with his grenade launcher (had only frag grenades left...not at all effective against the heavy armor of a valkrie). He crits (fury of the Emperor, doing around 30ish damage which pretty much bypassed the door gunners shield and his carapace armor) the door gunner shredding him, and setting off the Heavy bolters ammo hoppers, this shredded the other door gunner and both pilots. The Valkrie dropped like a stone and broke in two about 20 meters in front of the Skitari. If he wasn't heavily augmented and no longer had a mouth I'm sure he would have lit a cigar and puffed on it a few times while warming himself on the flaming wreckage.


other events of note:

The Adept realizing that he sucks with a las rifle at long range and is NOT a sniper and then spending 8 rounds running as fast as he can to get into the fight.

The Assassin after killing a heavy stubber gunner, attempting to climb the side of the building...falling.. landing in the bunker, and then into the trap door that lead to an underground passage. The 2 dead guards at the bottom she killed earlier with a grenade helped cushion her fall...but she still broke her arm and leg. It took a very hard medica roll by the Tech priest to repair enough of the damage to get her mobile again.





Great Star Wars moments:


My character Horus, a Jedi in the dark times (we actually escaped the temple during Order 66) was attempting to free falsely imprisoned Republic star ship crews. We needed the crew for our Mandolorian Destroyer with a ship mounted Rail weapon. So we dress up like imperial soldiers and officers and infiltrate the prison. Everything is going swimmingly until a random event blows our cover. A fight begins in the Wardens office, but is over pretty quick. Horus is sick of all this because guards are being stupid and decides that he's had enough. They get the warden to take them to the prisoners, and the warden tries to turn the tables on the party. We got to the yard and there were 20 guards with leveled blasters pointed at us, there were two towers with blaster cannons trained on us. I won initiative and used Force Jump (Revised Core Rules edition so 3.5 basically and all the broketasticness that comes with it) and leap over the guards heads, cut the blaster cannon off one of the towers and land at the base 20 meters down unharmed (did I mention how broken this system is?). I then turn to the guards, my lightsaber humming in my hands and say.

"If you drop your guns and stand against that wall you won't die today" ((yeaah Horus has some dark side points)). I crit my intimidate roll.

10 guards drop their guns...the other ten want to fight but realize they are out classed and also drop their guns. The Warden shits himself. (up until this point I didn't really display any jedi powers, he thought I was a body guard).




During another Prison break (yes we do a lot of them) we decided that since subtle never really works we'll do a smash and grab. This time against a Techno Union prison run by the Galactic Empire. So we got to fight storm troopers AND Droids.

We were under fire from some storm trooper snipers as we were crossing a narrow bridge between cell blocks. A speeder truck rose up next to us with 5 droids and 3 mercenaries (again a random event..they were dropping off prisoners just when we were breaking in...), the cell block ahead had 20 droids (basically suped up super battle droids) and 10 storm troopers. The Gungan in the party tosses a Thermal detonator. The look on the GM's face was priceless as he forgot that the gungan had one. The thing blows and wipes out 10 droids and 8 storm troopers. Horus then tosses HIS thermal detonator. The GM just headdesks at this point, and I remind him that HE gave me one. The rest of the droids go bye bye. it was nice that they were all clumped up in battle order too!

Well time for the GM to have some revenge! The mercenaries fire their "strange bulbus weapons" but all miss. Turns out they launch bola's that are stun weapons. Horus again jumps over to the mercenaries and cuts one down with his saber. The other two activate their jet boots and get off the truck. Horus easily follows leaping from one block house...25 meters over a big ass pit.., to the other and finishes off the mercs. Force jump is broke tastic. Though it does cost me 3 hps every time I use it. So basically I'm hurting myself every time I use a force power. Fun system! (not)

I'm loving this thread. I have to go through my old AD&D campaigns (yes, I wrote them down, and yes, I kept them, geek that I am) and pull out something at least half as good as the stuff I'm reading here.

Keep it coming, gentlemen!

Eberron Campaign, with Silvester, the half-elf duelist I mentioned before:

I gamed with the group on and off, playing when I came back to town from college. Everyone has interesting stories of getting characters in a party in the middle of an adventure, this is my favorite, personally.

The party was adventuring on the jungle continent of Xendrik, far away from civilization. An Elemental Air-Ship (common to the setting) passes overhead. The PCs pay it no mind, until they hear, "aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!" WHOOMPH! as Silvester fell from the sky, landing in a muddy marsh.

The party welcomed him, having traveled with him before. When asked why he fell from the sky, he replied, "I got caught kissing the count's daughter." The warforged in the party asked, "Just for kissing?" Silvester grinned and said, "Didn't say I was kissing her mouth."

That's one of my favorite characters, even though the plot was a bit rail-roaded.

--DF2K

Watched another player accidentally try to blow up a Dwarf PC. He ended up half dead, the bar we were in was blown apart, I managed to dodge out a window, the Dwarf took it all and walked out the front door. Without a scratch.

Blew off an elf's... equipment... then tried to use dark magic to fix it. Failed, created a portal to another realm instead.

Lowbie party, we form a defensive line because we're outclassed by about half a dozen Orcs and Goblins. Our wardancer leaps over us.... critically skewers himself and I refuse to break our defensive line to resurrect him.

Done atrocious things to people paralyzed by coffin crawlers, usually involving slain coffin crawlers.

Used rhyming curses as a minor magic power. Great fun. Bunions are the great equalizer.

Not so much a gaming story, as a "playing" story.

One of my friends has the WORST rolling luck ever. Not joking. During a D&D campaign, he rolled an average of twelve "1"s a SESSION, and only rolled a single "20" over the course of the ENTIRE campaign. During one of the earlier boss fights (which ended with the first of his characters 5 deaths), he rolled seven "1"s in a row. In a fit of rage, he took his dice home and crushed one in a vice. He put the crushed bits and dust back in the dice bag as, "an example to the others to make them 'tow the line'."

Creative, but unfortunately it was unsuccessful. He died 4 more times that campaign and still rolled poopy.

--DF2K

Dust? How would they know what it used to be? Sounds like those dice need training!

Tell him what he needs to do is line up all his dice, pick one at random and ask it to roll it's highest number. If it doesn't, drop it in a glass of coke in front of the others. This embarrasses it in front of it's peers, and given how acidic coke is is probably quite painful too.

Then, roll all the remaining dice. Put any that roll above their halfway point in a nice dice bag, and the others in a cheap plastic/box. Favour the dice in the bag, but give the others the chance to prove their worth now and again. Any that roll above their halfway point are allowed to sit with the others in the nice bag (unless 'above the halfway point' doesn't actually pass whatever action you were rolling).

Obviously if the first dice rolls the highest number like it's asked for it goes straight into the nice dice bag, and a 2nd one is chosen.

If that method doesn't work, replace all the dice BUT go through the training before playing with them.

I find blowtorching one in front of the others, accompanied by "This is the price of failure, Mr Bond" tends to work.

Mind you, in my redshirt days I did have to confiscate one gamer's invisible Ring of Sixes. Worked too, he rolled ones immediately thereafter...

... which was then followed by a bizarre conversation in which he asked for the invisible ring back. My manager didn't know where to look, haha.



I kept it, anyway. Can't remember where it is or if I'm still wearing it mind you. Oh well, probably turn up in a hobbit's pocket sometime...

I've two off the top of my head, both D&D:

We had the godcheck/call rule as well and one of the PC's probably made her roll about 99% of the time. This became so annoying to the GM (and supposedly the gods) that the GM started having a different god answer the PC's prayer, in addition the PC then usually had to perform some task for that god and/or give up 20 years of the PC's life in service to that god. What ended up happening was that the PC effectively became immortal because each god really did want its 20 years of service.....

The group had just switched from playing Champions back to D&D, of which I *really* did not want to do, so I made the complete opposite of the characters I normally played, fully expecting to get killed rather soon. The GM allowed us to use a certain number of points when making our character stats to better allow for us to play the class we wanted to play as well. I made a dwarf fighter named Stumpy kill'r'die and put my points into STR, CON, & DEX, and had (I think) 5's or lower in INT, WIS, & CHR. I refused to buy any armor other than leather & only owned one +2 axe which I inhereted from my father. Fast forward about two years (real time) and that damn dwarf was still alive no matter how hard I tried to kill him (including jumping into the mouth of a very large red dragon on one occassion after being tricked by one of the other PC's that it was a well known fact that dragons keep the best stolen dwarven ale inside their stomachs for safe keeping and that I should go find it and bringit out). I still have that character sheet here somewhere.....

Ah, two quick ones playing Shadowrun:

- where in we had a perfect run where we didn't set off any alarms, kill anyone, get caught on camera, stole whatever it was we were supposed to steal and got away clean.

- was able to get a magic sword that essentially had the D&D version of open doors enscrolled on it, but only after I used it as a normal sword to open several magloked doors (I made several very high and highly improbable rolls).

I was rereading this, and just remembered the diceless story-type RPGs we played on the 'Gate waaaay back when. With Gnome as the hypercompetent leader of a veteran squad somewhere on Armageddon, assorted other Gaters as his team, and me as the GM, AKA voice of the uncaring universe with a bad sense of humor. There was the time an Ogryn (played by Squid, I think) jumped into an Ork foxhole and stomped an Ork to death, but got stuck in the hole. Around the same time someone had the tip of their finger shot off by a bullet infected with Ork gangrene. I expected that player to bind his wound, but he never got around to it, and so every few posts I informed him, "Another of your finger joints falls off." Most of his hand was gone by the time he cleaned and bound it.

And I can't remember the outcome, but at one point Gnome, thinking on his feet, was explaining why something had gone wrong to a very skeptical naval officer. I think they had shot up a very valuable servitor, and not by mistake since it was attacking them. The officer didn't believe them...